Pastors are called to perform many duties. We are mentors, disciples, teachers, counselors, and shepherds. As leaders, we are not above our congregation but servants to them as we try to model Christ (Matthew 20:26-28; Mark 10:45). Sometimes we have to say tough things while speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). The Holy Spirit recently prompted me to consider what I will say in a funeral service. Death is a part of life, and therefore, funerals are an inevitability for a pastor. This prompting gave me pause to compose notes on what I might say when telling the truth of scripture to a grieving family and congregation.
Truth, God’s Truth, is always the first guiding principle. The writings of a fellow pastor, Phillip Anthony Mitchell, on this subject prompted me to revisit Matthew 19:16-30. Here, a rich, young ruler was asking Christ what he needed to do to attain eternal life. In verse 17, Christ answers, “…if you want to enter into life (eternal life/heaven)…” and then goes on to instruct. The particle of speech, “if,” carries the daunting truth that it is a choice and not all will make the choice for eternal life or heaven. Sadly, many think that by being American, a churchgoer, or a nice person, the doors of heaven are already open to them. Christ went on to dispel that thought with the rich, young ruler.
Christ tells the ruler that he must follow the commandments, the moral law as laid out by Moses. The young man says he has done all of that and wanted to know what he still lacked. The next part of this passage is frequently misunderstood. Christ told him to sell everything, give it to the poor, and follow Him. Christ was talking about more than material wealth. Christ was talking about the heart. Every material possession the young man owned was already God’s, so Christ was calling for his heart (John 14:5). Christ was telling the ruler that all his wealth means nothing unless it and his heart are surrendered to Him.
I am keenly aware that on any given Sunday, there are those sitting in the pews or listening online who have not surrendered their heart or their life to Christ. They may be very nice, good people, consistent attenders, and generous, but they have been misled into thinking those attributes open heaven’s gates. This made me think about how I will address a funeral message for one of those “good people.” I don’t want to offend anyone or make family and friends feel worse on a very tough day. But, first and foremost, I will not grieve God by telling no truth or a half-truth.
A long time before becoming a pastor, I realized that pastors have lied to us at funerals. The oft-repeated line that the deceased “is in a better place” is not always true. I know this phrase is intended to provide some comfort in difficult times. However, the truth remains that if the deceased did not believe in their heart that Jesus died and was resurrected and did not confess with their mouth that He is Lord and Savior (Romans 10:9-10), then they are not headed to a better place. Just as sobering, neither are you if you believe as the deceased did! It does not matter how good you are, how often you went to church, or how much money you gave. Christ is the only way to God the Father and eternal life.
A funeral for a believer in Christ will be a fantastic opportunity to share their life and their love for Christ. An opportunity to share the gospel and hold an altar call for those who do not yet know Him. A funeral for a non-believer will present the same opportunity. We will celebrate the goodness of that person and the memories they leave behind. I will also share the gospel of Jesus Christ and give anyone the opportunity to follow that path to eternal life. I will encourage them to change their path and not just be a good person, a church attendee, and a generous giver, but additionally to give their heart and their all to His Kingdom. To love these people as Christ loves me is to do no less. When we have the opportunity to share Christ, we are commanded to do it. What the receiver does with the Word is up to them.
Then I had to ask myself what I would say if asked about the deceased’s journey after death. And what if it is a younger person versus an older person? The answer is exactly the same. I will tell the truth. If he/she knew and professed Christ as their Lord and Savior, then in heaven we will see them again when our own mortal journey is complete. If they did not accept Christ, we need to make sure we do not follow their example. Rather, we need to accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, tell others about Christ, and our decision to accept Him. We owe it to our families, friends, and colleagues. Not all will follow Christ into heaven; that is also the truth. But “if” we choose to accept Christ, our journey is secured.